Some beer pairings we think up take hours, days, or even several half-minutes of deliberation to ensure the match being made is the most appropriate and perfect match in all of history. More perfect than Laurel and Hardy or that really old couple who made the news because they died Notebook-style. Other beer pairings come to us in a glorious instant, typically preceded by a long night of drinking and accidentally breaking our own furniture. This next pairing belongs in the latter category.
In my latest flash of inspiration, I thought it would be the greatest beer pun ever if I could take Sierra Nevada Kellerweis and parrot with Helen Keller. Yielding, of course, Helen Kellerweis. But the brilliance of this pairing didn’t stop there. I also decided I would need to blindfold myself and wear earmuffs while I drank the beer in order to make this pairing true to life (my stylistic choices have been recreated using our cat in the photo above). After consuming Sierra Nevada Kellerweis in the solitude of my own mental fortress, which was actually quite pleasant, I wrote the following paragraph, still unable to see or hear. Please read on and keep an open mind, partly because the topic is taboo, but mostly because spelling when you can’t see, don’t care, and are kind of drunk is a challenge:
What’s deaf, blind, and dumb all over? YOU are if you’ve never heard of, seen, or known about Sierra Nevada’s KIellerweis. Sierra Nevada Kellerweis is a great, all around wheat beer, appropriate for first time drinkers and seasonded beer enthusiatsts alike. NMuch liuke Helen Keller, a great all around person who just happens to be3 blind, deafr, and super sassy. I think Helen Kellerwould trululy enjoy this beer. It incorporates all her favorite flavors, such as banas, bubblegum, and bubanana bubble gum. Not to mention, her favorite color, courdoroy. Enjoy this beer how Helen keller might have: without the privilege of sight or sound. Blindfold yourself, plug up your ears, and re-arrange the furniture because this beer is beyond hand signals.
PS – Before you “poo-poo” my possibly poor taste in subject matter, just remember, at least I didn’t make these two billboards. For shame, America.