New Belgium Brewing

Have you ever wondered what a liquid steak would taste like? Before you answer out loud to your computer like the #blessed idiot you are, just know that the only correct response to that question is, “Why, yes. All the time. Especially in the shower.” Good! If country flavor in a bottle is what you crave, then this beer is exactly what you need. Wild2 Dubbel is another beer from New Belgium’s fantastic Lips of Faith series. This Belgian-style dubbel is considered “wild” for many reasons, the most obvious of which is that it’s brewed with schisandra. And though “schisandra” sounds like the name of a sassy black lady, it’s actually a plant and its berries are a prominent feature of this beer. While the addition of schisandra berries has made this beer quite unique and complex, I’ll admit that I’d still drink Wild2 if it were brewed with a sassy black lady instead. I might even prefer it that way.

cowboyI’m sure you’re curious how the schisandra berries work with this traditional Belgian-style ale. If you were truly interested in knowing this, you’d stop living in the middle of nowhere and go get your own damn bottle. But since you won’t, or can’t, or whatever, you’re in luck because I’m just going to tell you about it. Not surprisingly, the berries impart a fruity taste to the otherwise malty brew. More surprisingly, though, the berries also make for a peppery finish, and when combined with a hint of smokiness, to me it’s a bit like that aforementioned liquid steak (which is a good thing, by the way — any sort of drinkable meat is always a good thing.) According to New Belgium Brewery, schisandra berries are called the “five-flavor” fruit because they are sweet, salty, sour, spicy, and bitter all at once. So, try to imagine every possible flavor happening concurrently in your mouth, and that’s kind of what it’s like to drink Wild2 Dubbel. Let’s take a moment to allow your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

Now, what’s the perfect pairing for a beer that’s a little bit country and a little bit who-the-hell-knows-what? The musical stylings of Gangstagrass, of course! Pop open a Wild2 Double, pop in any CD by Gangstagrass, and you’re set for the wildest night of your probably pathetic life! I specifically recommend you take this beer and parrot with the track called “Western,” featuring Kool Keith, from the album Rappalachia. Just as the crazy combination of ingredients in Wild2 might prove confusing for some, when Kool Keith tries to integrate rap with bluegrass, it becomes clear that he’s fairly befuddled himself. Below I have extracted a ridiculously long and strangely organized excerpt  from “Western” to serve as evidence that Kool Keith has maybe never been to the country:

“See the mooses (see the mooses),
The horses, the lambs (the horses, the lambs),
You ride past the fields (ride past the fields),
See that reindeer jumping (reindeer jumping),
Straight bobcats (straight bobcats)
Lions (lions)
Bears coming out of nowhere (bears coming out of nowhere)
See hay (see hay)
Farmers going out for chicken feed (farmers going out for chicken feed)
Overalls, everything (overalls, everything)”


In conclusion, Wild2 Dubbel and Gangstagrass are perfect examples that country things can only be good when matched with not-country things like Kool Keith or schisandra berries (which I’m pretty sure share the same genes). If you disagree, then I’m banishing you and Will Smith out to the wild west to be eaten alive by mechanical spiders and straight bobcats. Or, better yet, gay bobcats.