You may not believe me when I say this, but I am a stickler for the rules. Actually, I should clarify. I’m a stickler for the rules only if the rules are being dictated by a beer. I don’t follow any other rules ever, which is why I’m writing this post with my shoes on the opposite feet. Take THAT society!
Luckily, beers aren’t too demanding. So, when Stone told me I had to drink their IPA by 12.26.14, I obediently complied. You see, hoppy beers are meant to be drunk fresh, lest their flavor fade and transform into something not-so-pleasant. This Enjoy By 12.26.14 IPA is really good – it’s floral, fruity, citrusy, and above all, it’s bossy, but for good reason. Because if you don’t partake of this brew within the next 7 days, it will start to lose all its “goodness.” It will start to turn “bad” and will probably go around town flipping cars, knocking over grandmas, and peeing on the sides of buildings. Don’t let this happen to your IPA. Drink it now. If you love your IPA, drink it now.
So, time to pair the 7th Christmas beer. If you’re just joining in on this series, then 1) You’re stupid, and 2) Listen up, because I’m going to explain how the pairings work. Questlove, the drummer for The Roots, is sending me, in order by day, all the gifts that appear in the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Here’s the catch, though: He’s practically deaf these days from drumming since birth, so he’s misheard all the lyrics, and therefore, sent all the wrong gifts. My fingers are crossed that he got it right today. Let’s find out.
Aw, this is actually kind of cute. Seven little Ron Swansons all swimming around, their body hair majestically swaying with the movement of the water. Tiny Ron Swansons are the new sea monkeys, and the only pet I need! I’m throwing my cats in the trash right now.
This concludes today’s Christmas beer pairing. Remember, please make Questlove and the little Mr. Swansons proud by drinking all your hoppy beers immediately! Amen.