Saint Arnold Brewing

If Santa could actually sail (which he can’t, and it’s not just because he doesn’t have the experience, it’s mostly because he’s afraid of sharks), his boat would be chock full of his namesake brew from Saint Arnold, and I would eagerly climb aboard, throw Santa to the sharks, and keep the boatful of booty to myself. Sailing Santa is a spicy surprise, even though that sounds like an innuendo (it’s not). This beer is a mixture of Saint Arnold’s Elissa IPA and their Christmas Ale, each providing the best of both worlds. The IPA lends a lighter body and some hoppiness, while the Christmas Ale packs the potion full of spice. The combination reminds me of a carrot cake, which I’ve always wished came in a liquid, alcoholic form. Behold! Sailing Santa, the cake of beers! Or the beer of cakes. Or…a bear…I mean…what?

Either way, it’s a delicious beer, and I hope it gets paired with something great. If you’re wondering why I’m “hoping” instead of “knowing,” it’s because I’m not choosing the pairings for this Twelve Days of Christmas beer series. No, the pairings are being provided courtesy of Questlove, drummer for The Roots. He’s been sending me all of the gifts from “The Twelve Days of Christmas” song, in accordance with the daily countdown. And, might I say, he’s being doing a godawful job of it. He doesn’t hear too well these days, what with all that drumming he’s been doing, so there have been quite a few mix ups in the gifts he’s given me. I’m sure today’s will be no exception. Let’s see what he’s sent.

QuestloveMilkyOn the eight day of Christmas, my Questlove gave to me: “Eight major milkies.”

Oh! These are giant candy bars from Japan! Whew, thank goodness. I was thinking that “milkies” was slang for “boobs,” and while eight boobs wouldn’t have been the worst present in the world, I already have two to occupy my time and my bra, so I don’t think I need anymore. Boob quota is full. However, major Milky quota was not met until today. Thanks for the weird chocolate, Questlove!

As for you readers, grab yourself some Sailing Santa, some Milky bars, and get ready to hibernate, because your fat ass is only getting fatter after this.