The last post I wrote was 2 months ago and it was about beer and dinosaurs. To get things back on track, I’ve decided to go in a completely different direction and write about beer and dinosaurs. I KNOW IT’S EXCITING AND NEW, BUT DON’T FLIP OUT!!! Let me tell you a bit about what I’ve been drinking and what’s been keeping me occupied the past couple months.

First, I’ve been drinking beer. Lots of it and all the time. Today, though, I would like to focus on one beer in particular: Four Corners Brewing‘s Heart o’ Texas Red Ale. During the hot summer months in Texas, most people tend to go for light beers, lagers, and sessionable suds. I, of course, am in full support of this. However, sometimes you need a break from even the most drinkable beers. In this instance, Four Corners’ red ale offers an option that’s a little heart-ier, more robust, and a nice change of pace from those light-bodied beers, lovely though them lighties may be.

Heart o’ Texas Red Ale is surprisingly hoppy, decently malty, and there’s hardly any sweetness to it. Though a bit of sweetness is sometimes associated with this particular beer style, lack of sweetness is fine by me because I’ve been hardened after years of telling people I live on the streets (I don’t). So the sweetness will not be concerned with me. Regardless of your criminal background, though, I highly recommend Four Corners’ red ale if you’re looking to change up your summer beer choices, or as a great a transition into those three days of “cool” weather we had last week.

Speaking of changing things up and transitioning, the second thing I have to tell you is so amazing. I was hired a few months ago by ATXcursions, which is a touring company here in Austin specializing in river floating trips and… get this… BREWERY TOURS! It is now my job to drive groups of people around from brewery to brewery, give them beer, talk to them about beer, accidentally spill beer on myself sometimes, and generally just hang out and have good times with good people. And they give me money for it, y’all. What the hell kind of universe am I living in?! I’ve just decided I’m probably living in a brewniverse. That explains a lot.

Anywho, because I’m driving people’s butts and mouths all over tarnation, I tend to end my days at the car wash to clean out the company van. This might seem like a chore to most, but for me, it’s the best part of the day. Why? Because I wash the van at Jurassic Car Wash, the most incredible spot to do physical labor in all of America. I’m dead serious, you guys. You could say that Jurassic Car Wash is my heart of Texas, and so I choose to take said car wash and parrot with Four Corners’ Heart o’ Texas Red Ale (but certainly not drinking and driving). Allow me to explain a little bit more about what makes Jurassic Car Wash so great.


Really, the name says it all, and the expectations it sets are exceeded. There are dinosaurs popping up all over the place here. What started a few months ago as a normal car wash is slowly transforming into a Jurassic jungle of wonder. There are now two dinosaur benches, a multitude of dinosaur signs, and a mechanical dinosaur head that moves and roars when people drive through the automated car wash. Also, on a practical note, their self-service prices are super cheap. I wash and vacuum our company van by hand and have yet to exceed $4 doing so.

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The owner, who I’m now considering my best friend because I’ve talked to him three times, informed me that Jurassic Car Wash is his fun experiment. He wants to make it an entertaining place that kids will like to be when their parents have to clean their cars. He plans on installing more dinosaurs, including two giant, full-bodied mechanical dinosaurs that children will absolutely love to interact with. That’s right, children. It’s all for the kids. Jurassic Car Wash certainly wasn’t built for super weird, possibly alcoholic adults like me to want to live in.

imgresWait, though. I haven’t mentioned one of the best parts about Jurassic Car Wash. One time, after I worked a double shift and was so tired and hungry from a long day, I pulled into Jurassic Car Wash close to midnight, daunted by the task of washing the van on an empty stomach. Lo and behold, a taco truck had magically sprung up on the lot, and velociraptor Jesus must have been smiling down on me because it was open and full of tacos. I ordered three for a total of $5, and devoured them all in less than five minutes like a T-Rex who had stumbled upon a nest of baby pterodactyls, which is a scenario that I’m just going to assume happened a lot back in the dino days.


I will say, I have no idea what the hours of the taco trailer actually are. Nor does it have a name. It seems to only be open between 11pm and 12am on days that I finish a double shift, so next time that happens, I’ll text the whole world and tell them to come to the car wash to get some tacos with me. I’m actually starting to think that the trailer is a mirage that my brain conjures up when I’m exhausted, and I’m probably just sitting on the front lawn of Jurassic Car wash eating dirt and grass, but calling it “tacos”.


Lastly, there’s usually a dog named Lucy at the car wash. I fed her a hamburger once.


So, whatever, my favorite place on the planet right now is a car wash and I’m not ashamed. I think the only thing that could make it better is if it were BYOB and there wasn’t any actual driving involved, but until that happens and all of the mechanical dinosaurs are programmed to open beer bottles, do the next best thing: Get your car all clean-like at Jurassic Car Wash, eat a taco, and head home to enjoy a can or two of Four Corners’ Heart of Texas Red Ale. Do these things to celebrate a change of pace from the ordinary. Do them to celebrate the place in Texas where my heart unabashedly lies. Do them to celebrate another perfect pairing of beer and dinosaurs.

All of my love,

Beer Parrot