Two things have happened recently. First, 4th Tap Brewing Cooperative  in north Austin (my hood) opened their doors to the public and also started distributing their cans. Second, I had an entire day off in the middle of the week. I figured I should celebrate both of these things simultaneously.

I’m not usually very good at taking days off, neither in the sense of requesting them nor fully enjoying them. I usually like to keep busy. However, lately I’ve found myself with plenty of time on my hands and I’ve decided I want to rub it in all of you hard working folks’ faces! Because I’m pretty sure you’re what’s wrong with America (probably not)!

What’s that? Oh, you got the whole week of Thanksgiving off and you think you’re so cool? Well I had a random Wednesday at the beginning of December all to myself to do whatever I want. So, suck on that!

Now that you’re thoroughly shamed, I’m going tell you exactly how I spent my lovely vacation day with 4th Tap. Any good beer drinking samaritan would have probably taken a visit to their lovely tap room and enjoyed their beer and ambiance straight from the source. But that requires forethought and I wanted to be lazy. I decided to drink at home.

I started my day by rolling out of bed at about 9:30am and just generally yelled and sang to our cats for a while. About an hour later I realized I was accomplishing nothing and needed sustenance to continue my day of fruitless efforts. I needed a good, healthy breakfast, like half a grapefruit and some toast. Or maybe just 4th Tap’s grapefruit IPA, which is also an assortment of grains and grapefruit. Yep, that would do just fine.

So at 10:45am, on an empty stomach, I cracked open a beer and loved it all the way down. I made our roommate, Cameron, take this picture of me drinking my breakfast beer. He had to take a break from WORKING to do it. Ha! Work?! Who even does that on Wednesday December 2nd? Not me, that’s for damn sure. Eff everyone who does.


I didn’t guzzle my grapefruit IPA, but rather sipped it and appreciated it as it nourished my not-working body. It was extremely juicy, and I didn’t have to look too far for grapefruit flavor. It hit me like five fingers to my not-working face on the first sip.

I studied the can as I drank. “A Long Walk” is the name of 4th Tap’s grapefruit IPA, and I thought that was sound advice. I should go for a long walk around my stompin’ grounds and see what it do. Even though it was a bit of a dreary day, I was sure there would be spectacular sites to behold.

I headed outside and took care of the most important order of business first: actual food breakfast/lunch. As wonderful as my morning brew was, there is an old saying that goes, “Man cannot live on beer alone, he must also eat tacos.” I took a quick stroll to the corner gas station where Tacos Ivan resides, and fueled up for my lengthy and potentially underwhelming adventure.

The journey was exactly what I needed. Meandering the streets of Far West, just me, my thoughts, and the ability to toot anywhere I wanted. Here are things I saw and did on my long walk:

Apparently somebody who lives in my apartment complex drives an actual monster truck. I’m sure he has the hugest of peni.
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I stopped in at Goodwill. Actually, it was a GW Boutique. You know, for the upper-poor class who have tens of dollars to spend, such as myself. I found this cluster of flamingo objects. I imagine their previous owner was an elderly woman who either decided that flamingos were too pink of a bird to collect, or who died and her ungrateful, flamingo-hating grandchildren turned her entire collection over to the Goodwill authorities. Those jerks. Can’t they see those flamingos belong in a museum?! They’re beautiful.
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Speaking of birds, I kept seeing this DRiB graffiti all over my neighborhood. I actually kinda like it because it looks like it could be a parrot. A beer parrot, of course.
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I passed by this store, which I really hope sells only corduroy pillows as part of an elaborate joke.
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It’s abnormal that I ever notice or take pictures of any trucks, let alone two in the same day, but this one had a killer license plate that I’m sure we can all get behind. C’mon, say it with me: “Fourmerica!”
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Eventually I made it back home, but not before I stopped in at HEB and bought myself some more 4th Tap beer. This time it was Renewal, their tamarind wheat beer. I really like this beer. The tamarind lends a balanced sourness to the beer that makes it feel almost like a berliner weisse, except for the fact that it’s nearly 6% ABV. Essentially it’s a sessionably sour wheat beer, minus all the sessionability. Perfect.
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The only beer can missing from my 4th Tap mainstay trifecta was Sun Eater, their gluten-free sorghum-based gruit beer. While I didn’t drink any on my day off, I did have some on Thanksgiving, and it was actually quite pleasant. The citrus and rosemary really shine through. We were all thankful for Sun Eater that day because my sister with celiac disease was able to enjoy beer with the family. It’s wonderful to have a local gluten-free beer option as we all come to grips with the fact that celiac disease is apparently NOT made-up bullshit. We think…

But check it, homie. Whatever you do on your day off, be sure to parrot with a 4th Tap beer. Go on a long walk, renew yourself, eat the sun. Do it, and do it with beer.